Lady Gaga, please report to the principal’s office

12 11 2009

… sigh … damnit, Gaga … It’s just … I can’t … why would …

What is your damage woman?

I try to make it a point not to slam artists for anything outside of really, really shitty music, and even then I’ll usually give them a pass. But you are just ruining this for me.

I didn’t mind “Just Dance”, really, I was neutral on the subject. I could dance to it if I had enough of the spirits in me, I could tolerate it if I were sober. Then you released “Poker Face”. And “Disco Stick”. And every time I hear one of those songs, I die a little inside. They are awful. Nickelback awful. The kind of awful that in 10 years, people will be embarassed to admit they ever liked you in the first place.

And that was before you had to go and do “Bad Romance”,

In “Bad Romance”, you look like what would happen if Cher and Amy Winehouse had a baby. “Lady Gaga’s Bath Haus”? I don’t even know what that means. I didn’t see a single bath, only S&M versions of the kid from Where the Wild Things Are. You are a poor man’s David Bowie. Even I know that, and I’m not even entirely sure who David Bowie is.

Your abortion of an 8-song album, The Fame Monster, drops 11.23. I think I speak for us all when I say I hope you are hit by a dump truck.




2 responses

12 11 2009

I concur with the whole dump truck idea. I think it would be great if after the dump truck hit her, it dumped feces out of the back on her, and then a sing was posted that read: “Her shit finally caught up with her”.

That is all.

Scootsie Finkerton

12 11 2009

Well stated, my friend. Did you see what she did there with the Thriller dance at the beginning? Attention whore. Emphasis on the whore.

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