Lil Wayne … Golem?

3 11 2009

So Weezy F. Baby dropped another mixtape, No Ceilings, and eventually, we’re going to get Rebirth in whatever form it comes in. But there’s a bigger issue going on with one of today’s top rappers.

He’s career path is following someone else we are all familiar with.

That guy’s name is Golem.

Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?

Golem and Weezy have been around forever

Golem [note: NERDALERT!] was in The Hobbit, and that book was supposed to be like, a thousand moons before The Lord of the Rings trilogy. So he’s been around the block, just like Wayne. I don’t expect most of you to know this, but some of us have been on Weezy since Tha Block is Hot — I must have played that album 100 times when I went on family vacation in 1999-2000. The man was like 15 when that came out. Wayne is a certified veteran of the game and he’s what, 27? 27! You would have thought he was 40 with the amount of music he’s put out.

Lil Wayne and Golem came about some power

Golem got the ring, Wayne got everyone to start calling him the best rapper alive. Pretty straight forward, and here’s the rub: Once both of them got the power (Golem with the ring, Lil Wayne when he dropped Tha Carter II) they started exhibiting even more similarities, and weirdness.

Lil Wayne has progressively sounded less human, Golem less hobbit

Let’s start with Golem. So originally he was just a regular ol’ hobbit that turned into some sort of grayish, ghoul-looking creature with a huge head and even bigger eyes. Have you seen his eyes? He looks like Reche Caldwell. (Google image it. Don’t worry, we’ll wait for you. Did you see? I know right?) And he started talking all raspy.

Lil Wayne sounds like he’s a goblin with a stoma. And really, Goblin-Golem isn’t that potato-potahto? Weezy F. has always had a pretty unique voice (you can hear his Goblin-ness as early as “Loud Pipes” on Tha Block is Hot), but it was somewhere in the 200 songs he did the year Tha Carter II came out that he really let himself go. How Pixar hasn’t signed him to play the voice of a villain in an upcoming film is beyond me.

Golem and Lil Wayne make less and less sense everyday

And we’ve reached the apex of the comparison. With each mixtape and album that followed Lil Wayne’s peak (Tha Carter II), his raps have gone from concrete examples of brilliant wordplay, to brilliant esoteric wordplay, to just esoteric wordplay to the point where now I don’t even know if he even knows what he’s talking about. Just. Like. Golem. POWER HAS DESTROYED YOUR MIND WEEZY! FIGHT IT! YOU CAN MAKE SENSE AGAIN! DON’T LET THE RING CORRUPT YOU!

He sounds like someone with a lot of shit to say, but it ain’t about shit. Weezy needs a theme. He went from thug to proving himself as a emcee to the best emcee to … I don’t know, some weird brother of best emcee? Could this be the consequence of putting out hundreds of songs a year? Is Weezy the equivalent of a bad ration of Kool-Aid to water? Is Weezy watered down?

Rebirth is a big album for him. For as successful at Tha Carter III was, I really didn’t think it was all that special. Rather predestrian, in fact. So Lil Wayne — you’re on notice. You’ve turned into rap’s Golem, and I don’t want to watch you fall into hot lava with Elijah Wood. So pick it up Dwayne, Middle Earth might just depend on it.

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